this is a copy of an email I sent to a bunch of people who were asking about me, it summarizes the last few days, so it was a good one to post:
As so many of you have called and texted me, here's a general update, as 99% of the time I am feeling too sick to reply, some of you know all this some nothing, so bear with....
Thanks for calling and texting ! It's nice to know you care. So after the hysterectomy on 29th everything was fine really, then about Weds it all went tits up and my pain was awful. I was supposed to be getting better so why the awful pain? 
Eventually I went to the ER at the Cleveland Clinic (where I had my surgery) on Friday afternoon after several days of trying to persuade my doc to prescribe me more Dilaudid (no-go, guess he's onto me! 
) for the pain.
After the obligatory 8 hour wait in the ER (even though when I arrived at 2pm there were only 2 people waiting) I was on a gurney in the hallway for another 2 hours (the place was overrun with fucking wasted hippies 
from Langerado music fest who'd done too much of something and "slipped and fallen" or got sunburnt or something - uh-huh. 
) I thought being on a gurney in an ER hallway was only for poor government hospitals, or on TV, but I guess not.
I had a 20-something platinum blonde totally ADHD HOT lookin' nurse (actually she looked alot like Pink - pop-star...anyone??) with the tightest white "uniform" pants you've ever seen and no knickers on, but she was stingy with the pain meds, so I didn't bother to get her number. I gawked at the young paramedics too, and wondered *briefly* what Kevvy looks like in his uniform 
Anyway, talking of hot young things (yes of course I mean YOU Kevvy!), this doctor came by to feel me up, he was dark, handsome and very cute and ...sadly very arrogant. Told me in 10 seconds flat that I had peritonitis (which is inflammation of the peritoneum, SP, NOT the perineum, man, I would have laughed if it didn't hurt so fucking bad 
). Informed me that I would be admitted for a few days on iv antibiotics. WHOA there horsey 
.
I have a total problem with antibiotics and said no fucking way sunshine cutey-ass-arrogant-twit. He didn't like being second guessed and told to do an ultrasound and x-rays as a minimum. "oh that wont tell me anything/" Do it anyway fucko. 
Normal white blood count, normal ultrasound (apart from an oddly missing uterus! no-one had told the poor girl !!) but the x-ray showed I was literally full of shit. How embarrasing, but common I understand, like those who think they're having a heart attack but really have a serious fart brewing... 
They admitted me anyway to some spooky back hall holding ward where the nurse call bell didn't work and neither did the tv. So i whined for lots of pain meds, demanding the on-call gynecologist prescribe me some and my favourite sleeping pill (temazepam 30mg, yum - cant get those fuckers on the street even ! 
) then just rode out the night with minimal pain waiting for my surgeon to turn up in the morning.
At 5am some bitch came and took my blood, another hole in my arm!! When i'm enjoying the only sleep I feel i've had in 8 days - WHY do they do that?? 
At Midday my surgeon turns up, confirms I am indeed full of shit, I DONT have peritonitis (nor a problem with my perineum!), yes the cute ER doc is arrogant but it's his job (??), sticks his finger up my twat just for kicks, and sends me home with some bad-ass laxative. Gee thanks. Wonder what the bill for the nonsense is? Any guesses? I'm thinking $8,000. 
So SP came and got me about 2pm, just a short, but long, 24 hours later, and all the rest of Saturday I had the worst cramps from the laxative, that anyone can imagine. This tops ALL the pain I've ever had, surgeries, new tits, being spanked by (name withheld)..... everything.
SO now when they say in hospital "On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the WORST pain you've ever had" this is what I will compare it with 
I had been saying 8/10 in the ER. compared to the laxative induced pain and getting rid of what was ailing me, I should have reported a 3 in comparison to last night (at a 12) and today is about a 5.
To put a real shine on it, 2 hours after I got back home i mysteriously contracted the Flu, full on soak-the-bed sweats, chills, fever, aches, shooting pains, shaking, screaming DONT TOUCH ME, to SP as my 'skin' was too painful... nice when you have to crawl out of bed in agony every 30 mins to shit water. I am exhausted, haven't slept and am still shitting the flu - or something like that.
Sick-Chick out.
PS. deliveries are being accepted for Ferrero Rocher ONLY
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